Return to the Evil Forest
by Rabid Ostrich
Summary: Tantalus, given the Hilda Guarde 2 by Regent Cid, crash-lands in the evil forest...again. How will they escape. Why them? Find out!
1. An Old Place Revisited

### Return to the Evil Forest

All was quiet and peaceful in the Evil Forest. Despite the name, it was quite a tranquil and serene place. In the petrified portion of the forest, life was returning. Rabbits frolicked through the stone plants and through the dew-covered grass. Owls perched high atop the treetops and looked down on the world below them. Plants were growing back, and all was peaceful, until a large crash and a fireball seemed to come out of nowhere. 

"Aw shit! You're kidding me!" came an outraged voice from the cockpit of the crashed airship. A big, burly old man with goggles on ran from the cockpit into the main body of the ship to inspect the damages and care for the injured. Blank was pinned up on the wall by his belt on some coat hook thing, squirming helplessly. Marcus was busy trying to get his head unstuck from a cargo barrel. Cinna was trying to unbury himself from the avalanche of stuff that came crashing down on him. Baku sighed in relief, seeing as all of his comrades were safe. Then he remembered. As Marcus pulled the barrel off and Cinna poked his head through the rubble, Baku took off running to go find Benero, Zenero and the musicians. 

"What the hell just happened?" Cinna asked as he walked over to the now broken window of the Hilde Guarde 2. "This place looks awfully familiar…." 

Marcus grunted. "Lousy piece of shit. I can't believe Cid gave us his defective ship. Shoulda known this would've happened right after we took off from Lindbulm. Figures we would wind up here again…" His eyes wandered down to the wooden floorboards. 

Cinna looked back at him from the window. "Where exactly IS here?" 

Marcus looked up from the floor. "Why, we're in the Evil Forest again, can't you tell?" 

"We ARE?! Aw…shit…" Cinna moaned. 

"Guys? GUYS?! A little help here?" said Blank from his place up on the wall. 

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Baku had found the rest of the crew, safe but slightly shaken. Blank had been rescued from his 'prison' from up on the wall, and Benero and Zenero were busy putting the various fires out. Baku, Blank, Cinna and Marcus stepped out into the clearing they were in. 

"Bwahahaha! This could get interesting…" Baku chuckled. Cinna gave him a strange look. 

"You said that LAST time we were trapped here. What happened? Well, Blank was petrified and we nearly got killed ourselves. THAT was NOT anywhere near what I would call interesting." Cinna snorted. 

"I'm not dead…" Blank pointed out. 

"Ya' would've been if we haven't gotten the Supersoft from Toot." Baku noted, then started his gruff laugh again. 

"It's Tot…" said Marcus. 

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The fires were out, yet the coals still glowed a vibrant orange-red. The crew of Tantalus huddled in the cargo hold, shivering in the cold of the clear night. The main door to the Hilde Guarde 2 was bashed open, so any monster seeking shelter for the night could just wander in. Baku paced the length of the cargo hold. The rest of Tantalus, minus Cinna and Marcus, watched him with blank (no pun intended) looks on their faces. 

"What we gonna do now, Boss?" Asked Cinna as he was playing cards with Marcus. 

"I win. I call Sand Golem" announced Marcus with a sense of triumph. Cinna sighed as he handed over his prized card, then sulked in the corner for a while. Baku ceased in his pacing and turned to the rest of the group. 

"How damaged is the ship?" 

Benero got up and waved his claws in the air. "Pretty badly, Boss. I doubt we could get airborne again, even if we wanted too…" 

"Damn." Baku let out a sigh then plopped down on the floor. 

Meanwhile, Blank was sitting on top of a rather large box in the back of the cargo hold. He was mindlessly playing with his paddleball. 

"349…350….351….352…." 

"BLANK!" yelled Baku. 

"EEP! Aw, you made me lose it!" Blank whined then gestured to his paddleball. 

"Put that damned thing down and git down here!" 

Blank threw down his paddleball and scrambled from the box, but his belt got caught on the edge of the box, and he was dangling 5 feet off the floor…again. Blank squirmed fussily. Baku facepalmed. As Blank squirmed and squiggled, his weight slowly pulled the nails holding the box together apart, and soon, he found himself under one side of the box. The cargo it contained was a brand-new buggy, which they were supposed to be shipping to Alexandria. Baku grinned. 

"Nice work, Blank." 

"Mmmmf mmm…" came Blank's reply. 

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((Author's Notes: So, what do you think? This is only chapter one. I am going to add more chapters to the story. Should I continue?)) 


	2. The Escape

### Return to the Evil Forest

  
Chapter II: The Escape

It was morning in the land of Gaia. The rays of the sun painted the Evil Forest brilliant shades of red and orange. All was quiet again, until a large crash and horrified screams echoed from the forest. 

Baku laughed like a maniac as he controlled the buggy through the narrow paths of the forest. Hitting various branches, the passengers were quite scathed. 

"Boss! Slow dow--erugh!" Cinna tried to say, but a branch knocked him into the back seat. Baku laughed even harder as he roared through the water, and through a thicket of plants. The gas floored, and having too much fun to really be concentrating on driving, he didn't notice that he was driving straight into a cave, and to Blank, a rather familiar cave at that. 

The buggy grinded to a stop as it came into contact with some huge plant. Blank whimpered, he knew this plant, and it had grown back. The brain plant of the Evil Forest gave a sigh, then fell over limp. 

"Oh….shit…." Baku's eyes went wide. "Arugh! I killed it! It didn't deserve to die! The poor, poor plant!" Baku started bawling his eyes out. 

"Boss! We need to get out of here!" Blank yelled, then his eyes traveled over to the brain plant's new minions. Baku was too interested in grieving for the brain plant, so Blank knocked him out of the way, which proved to be a difficult task indeed, and drove off with the plant minions hot on their wheels. 

Blank proved to be less capable to drive a car than even Baku. Blank floored it as the plants gained on them. Cinna looked back to see the forest trying to petrify itself again. The evil plants were frozen in place as the entire forest began to petrify. Multiple vines came down in front of the buggy to keep it from escaping. Blank tore through the vines (which had spines on them ><), and they ended up outside of the second entrance to the Evil Forest. Cinna's eyes traveled to the back of the buggy. It was stone. 

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((Author's Notes: There. There is chapter 2. I have a snowday today (Whee!) so I decided to add on. By the way, this isn't the end of the story. I have much more in store for them poor suckers! Bwahaha!)) 


	3. Stranded

### Return to the Evil Forest

  
Chapter III: Stranded

Tantalus stood outside of the newly petrified second entrance to the Evil Forest. Baku began pacing again. Blank poked at the stone back of the buggy. Cinna and Marcus resumed their card game. Benero and Zenero were busy playing paticake and the musicians were playing their 'Triumph over the Forest' tune. 

"What now, Boss?" asked Cinna. 

"I win. I call Oglop." announced Marcus. 

"Again?!" 

"Hehe…" Marcus snickered as he swiped the Oglop card off of the ground. Cinna sulked. 

Baku stopped pacing again. He had a grin on his face from ear to ear…and since his ears were on top of his head, that was one hell of a grin. Baku reached into his pocket and whipped out a phone. 

"Yes! Glad I brought this!" Baku said proudly. 

"Wassat?" Blank asked from behind the buggy, now playing with his paddleball again. 

"It's a PHS. Can't remember where I got it…" Baku scratched his head, the shrugged it off. He dialed a few numbers and the call was put through. A young male voice answered. 

"Hello? Cloud speaking…" the voice said. 

"Oops, wrong number…" 

"The hel--? *click*" The voice was cut off. A sheepish grin took up residence on Baku's face. The rest of the group, minus Blank who was still preoccupied with his precious paddleball, stared at him with sweatdrops on their heads. "*Ahem* Let's just try that again, shall we?" Baku dialed a few more numbers. 

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Zidane's phone rang right in the middle of one of his lovey-dovey moments with Dagger. Zidane cursed to himself as he reluctantly picked up the PHS. 

"The Hell do you want?!" he snapped. Baku's voice crackled over the phone. 

"Take a chill pill Zidane. We need a ride, 'spose you could pick us up?" 

Zidane sighed. "Alright. Where are you at?" 

"Evil forest, we won't be easy to miss." 

"Wait a second, weren't you suppose to be shipping that buggy over here?" 

Baku paused. "Well…you see, the Hilda Guarde 2 crashed. We have the buggy, but it's half statue." 

Silence overtook the line, then Zidane spoke up again. "Alright, we'll be right over." 

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((Author's Notes: Whee! I'm on a roll! Next, Return to Lindbulm and lots more mayham!)) 


	4. Return to Lindbulm

### Return to the Evil Forest

  
Chapter IV: Return to Lindbulm

The Red Rose touched down about a half an hour after Zidane was summoned. Baku and crew loaded the slowly petrifying buggy onto the ship and the Red Rose took off, bound for Alexandria. 

The moment the Red Rose touched down, Tantalus helped remove the now stone buggy from the cargo hold. Zidane looked at it and sighed. 

"Bunch of imcompetent cretins..." he mumbled. 

"What did you say?" Baku snapped. 

"I said where are the freakin' lizards?" 

"...oh..." Baku scratched his head. "I didn't know you wanted any...but, I think they're under the front seat." 

"Okay, I don't EVEN want to know..." Zidane shuttered, knowing the lizards were probably petrified by now. 

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After having dinner at the palace, Zidane flew Tantalus back to Lindbulm. They docked long enough just for Baku and crew to get off, then the Red Rose roared out of there with haste. 

"Man, he sure has changed..." commented Blank. 

"Love'll do that to a guy. That's why I'd suggest staying away from Rose, Bro, or you'll end up like that." Marcus pointed out. 

"Hey!" Blank glared at Marcus. 

"I heard that..." Rose yelled from the end of the dock. 

"Bwahaha! You fools head back to the hideout. I have a bone to pick with Ciddy here." Baku chuckled. Tantalus left for the theater district while Baku went into the palace. It was funny that none of Tantalus noticed the two Lindbulmain Guards that were following them... 

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((Author's Notes: Hehe...I have lots in store for them. I won't say much, except my apology for this chapter being so short. I'll make up for it...)) 


	5. Welcome Home Party

### Return to the Evil Forest

  
Chapter V: Welcome Home Party

The rest of Tantalus arrived back at their hideout in the Theater district. Cinna and Marcus went to their card game as Blank raided the refrigerator. Ruby tidied up the room. 

"I win." Marcus grinned. 

"……." Cinna's head dropped. 

"Hehe." Marcus took a good look at the cards he had..then the ones he had won and chose Cinna's 'Lizard Man'. 

"Dude, Cinna. Move over. I'll play ya, Bro…" Blank walked over and took a deck of his own cards from his pocket. 

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Outside of the hideout, the two Lindbulmian guards stood watch. They were fully equipped with sleeping weed and handcuffs. One of the guards pulled out a two-way radio. 

"Rabid Ostrich to Head Cheese, come in Head Cheese…" the guard spoke quietly into the radio. Cid's voice crackled over the radio. 

"Head Cheese here, what is your *Gwok* position?" 

"You can stop talking like an oglop now." 

"Sorry, it's a *ribbit* habit." 

The guard sighed. "Positioned in front of 'Mad Cow Hideout', awaiting orders." 

"Good, proceed with operation 'Double-Cross'…Head Cheese over and out…" 

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Baku casually walked through the palace and made his way up to the top floor. He came up to the royal chamber and stopped at the guards. 

"The Regent has been expecting you. You have permission to pass." The guard announced, then stepped aside for Baku to pass. He scratched his head. 

"_Expecting me?_" Baku thought, but shrugged the thought off. The giant doors opened, and Baku stepped into the royal chamber, in front of the human Regent Cid himself. 

"Ah. Welcome Baku. How was your  trip?" 

"Oh, just peachy. First we were tossed around like Mexican Jumping beans, then we crash-land in the Evil Forest…AGAIN. Nearly get turned to stone, scratched and scathed to oblivion and stranded out in the cold for 2 days. Oh, I'd say I was just peachy keen, jelly bean." Baku had a hostile tone in his voice. Cid chuckled. 

"Aw, come on buddy, it wasn't really THAT bad was it?" 

"But tell me something, Ciddy. Why did you give us your defective ship?" Baku pointed out. Cid went serious. 

"Well…you see…" Cid started, his voice almost monotonous. "The truth is, I am trying to destroy you." 

Baku's eyes went wide. "W-What?!" 

Cid pressed a button on his seat and a horde of guards rushed in and surrounded Baku with their spears drawn. "You see, you and your little band of thieves have cost us and our neighboring nations lots of money. Now, it isn't just you, but I've agreed to eliminate all the thieves from our town. Including you and your band. Now, since you are my friend, I'll let you off easy…" Cid scratched his chin, then continued. "But, your buddies will be executed at noon tomorrow." 

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((Author's Notes: Told ya they'd get into trouble. Update 2-23: Er...hehe. I keep getting 'Ruby' and 'Rose' confused. I dunno why. ::Changes that::)) 


End file.
